It all started to sink in back in a corner booth at Rep's House of Ribs. The booth was covered in black button-tuck Naugahyde that he just now noticed/realized was in pretty bad shape. His father used to take them all there when he was in a mood to splurge.

Four kids and steaks for everybody.

When he was nine years old he was fascinated by the bar, a big. circular,centerpiece. Rep's was a dark place but that bar had a luminescence about it that seemed to emanate up from under the bottles of booze. Beefeater, Old Grand Dad, Cutty Sark... Back then there were two bartenders and they stayed busy. His father would order an Early Times on the rocks and a Tom Collins for his mom.

He observed the whole process and 40 years later remembered everything, the way the waitress bent over the table and walked back to the bar. The yellow and red Early Times label and the glowing red soda gun the bartender used to top off his mom's drink. The smile the waitress gave his dad when he tipped her a buck.

It all seemed so swank back then, but looking at that torn Naugahyde, he realized the place was a dump and had been for years. He was halfway through a 10 oz. char broiled New York steak and started seeing things for what they really were. The neighborhood had gone to shit, hell the whole town...the whole fucking country...

He caught himself there. "No man it's just you. Somewhere in town tonight some young father is going to take his wife and kids out to a fine meal and they will remember it for years to come. It happens every day. It's just you"

You build your life on and around places and events and people. It's only natural to cling to them and try to protect them. His Grandmother turned 100 years old last summer. The Minnesota Twins wished her a happy birthday on their big scoreboard and his Aunt Tiny had TiVoed it. President Bush sent her nice letter but she just used it as a prop to tell everybody how she was hanging on long enough to vote for Hillary in November and that's what she did.

He remembered all those boring summer evenings back in North Dakota, nothing to do but watch the grownups drink Pabst while they watched the Twins on TV. Fucking Pabst, all the kids were drinking it now trying to keep it real or old school or God knows what with their $500 tattoos and $80 shirts.

Aunt Tiny with a TiVo? There's your brave new world right there. He saw Aunt Tiny with a Pabst in one hand and the remote in the other and it brought a smile to his heart if not his face. Damn his steak was getting cold.